Everything was going well except for his altar. After his epiphany almost six weeks ago, he hadn’t not turned a trick or even had sex. It was as if sex no longer interested him at all. He stood up and looked at his altar, the stones were losing their luster and the formerly glowing lines of energy he had shot across it had faded and were slowly become one with the dust settling over it. He hadn’t thought about that day or even his altar since then. But in the last few days, it had started creeping into his thoughts more and more. An incessant nagging in the back of his mind. He looked over his altar again. It looked right but it didn’t feel right. Something was out of place or energies were mis-aligned. He wondered out loud how he knew this, but he was afraid of the answer.
He quickly got up and stripped naked to get cleaned up before bed. He glanced in the mirror to admire his body as he walked by, but what he saw startled him. There were multiple images of himself. There was the faded image of a streetwalker punk known as Jaysin in the far background, there was the ‘real’ him that was in the foreground next to an older version of himself in full ancestral Hopi attire. To the side, were two more versions of his contemporary self. One was dressed much as he would dress and seemed to be well off, but the other, the other was in much worse shape having been beaten and seemingly tossed aside by the world.
Pahana studied them and realized that although he was naked, none of the people he could see in the mirror were naked rather they were all fully dressed. As he thought about this, he looked away from the mirror and turned his gaze to the altar. All the stones on his altar, everything on it actually, had turned to face the mirror. He looked back at the mirror and saw that the four versions of himself had all stepped out of the mirror. As he stumbled backwards, the four took full form and were standing there as clearly as anyone would.
He looked at Jaysin. “Why are you here Jaysin? You were just a shell to protect myself. You are dead and gone.” As he said this, Jaysin faded away and within a few seconds was gone.
Turning to the two contemporary versions of himself, he looked at the beaten man who wouldn’t raise his eyes to meet his. “You are what I could have been and might have become if I had listened to temptation on the street. Beaten and broken, just another lost soul on the streets. I am not you and you are not me. I had seen you before I turned to the streets and so avoided being broken. Your guidance has been great and I am grateful for it.” and with that, the broken man faded away.
Smiling, he addressed the current version of himself standing in front of him. “You are me. I am you. Yet, we are not each other. You are what I will be and who I want to be. My future, just as the older wiser version of myself is where I came from and my history. I would ask that you stay, but you can not teach me how to be my future, I must experience it and bring myself to be a better man. Thank you for your guidance and may your return be blessed.”
Strangely, his ‘future’ self did not disappear. He turned to the Sage who was closest to the mirror.
Nervously, he started to greet the Sage in English, but what came out of his mouth was a greeting in Hopi, “Haw, um pitu.”Hi, you’ve come.
The Sage turned to his future self and with a wave of his gnarled hand, dismissed him back to the Spirit Realm. With his other hand, a motion for Pahana to sit.
Several hours passed as Pahana’s memories were awakened. The Sage was not his father or his father’s father. The Sage was his father, seven generations past. They spoke slowly at first, Pahana’s Hopi nearly lost due to lack of use. Before long, Pahana was speaking fluently. He had not been aware that he was raised speaking Hopi as his mother tongue but the Sage before him and awoken it. They discussed his altar and why certain stones were placed where they were. Now, as he arranged his altar, Pahana felt the power in each of the pieces he had arranged.
Though it was getting late in the year, sunrise still came early and he realized that the color of his windows was turning from black to blue to red as sunrise approached. The Sage turned to him and bid him farewell, assuring him that he would visit often and that Pahana would be able to visit him soon as well.
The Sage sat down on the floor and motioned for Pahana to join him. As he started to sit down, the Sage motioned for Pahana to lay down on the floor. As he laid down and his head rested on the floor, he was asleep.
When he awoke, it was late afternoon. The sun streaming through the windows of his apartment shone across his altar and turned the room into a kaleidoscope. As he looked at the altar, he saw that it had been rearranged. He didn’t remember reworking his altar. Scratching his head and then his balls, he remembered that he had been going to take a shower before he fell asleep. As he turned to go to the bathroom, he saw the Sage’s necklace hanging on the corner of the full length mirror.
It hadn’t been a dream. They were here. As he turned into the bathroom, he saw himself in the mirror. He was still naked, but there was the body paint of the Shaman-Seer-Sage on him.
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